Obituary for Vera Mae Durbin (Cousins)
Vera Durbin left us full of all the devotion, love, and humility she taught each one of us to aspire toward on August 4, 2020. We are all fortunate to have been a part of her life.
Vera Mae Cousins was born on a reservation in West Texas on February 27th 1935. A child of foster care her friend Bernice asked her to live with her family, the McNeelys, when she was 15. She jumped at the chance, and rarely talked about her past afterward.
She graduated from San Diego High School in 1953 and met Bud Durbin, a school boy from Hackett, Arkansas. on a chance meeting on a dock. They married in Pascagoula, Mississippi and eventually settled in Fort Smith, Arkansas. Bud shipped out to the Antarctic via the US navy, and Vera had Diana Durbin in 1955 at Fort Chaffee. Bud came home, bought a house, and added Roy Durbin in 1964. They remained married for sixty-two years.
It is difficult to extricate their lives because of the tremendous collective impact they had on everyone. Blood was not a requirement for Vera to feed, clothe, house, and love any wayward children her offspring brought home. Bud became Pop to everyone in the motorcycle racing community and anyone fortunate enough to grow up under his wing. Vera Durbin loved all of these people unequivocally. Devoid of a solid childhood, she created her own idea of what a family should, and we all grew up in it. Deservingly, Vera became known as Mom to everyone, even Pop.
Vera worked at Kennedy Tile and Marble for three decades, making long term family friends of the owner. Among her many hobbies, Vera enjoyed painting, macrame, knitting, and she was a talented seamstress. She loved cooking. From shirred eggs to fried okra to homemade ice cream, food was an event. Thanksgiving was a feast that concluded with her unparalleled chocolate pie. Christmas was a consecrated event replete with family, laughter, and an immoral amount of food. Above all, Mom’s family was what was most important to her. Whatever she was deprived of as a child, she made real for all of us.
And I keep telling myself this is not sad, and we were all lucky to have such a matriarchal figurehead in our lives. She was a church we all worshipped at, even Pop..
Goodbye, Mom, Granny, Aunt Vera. You were all of these things to everyone. We will always love you.
Preceded in death by her husband Bud Durbin. She is survived by her children, Diana Lee and Roy Durbin; grandchildren, Dusty Lee , Travis Lee, Katlyn Best, Lilly Durbin and Ruby Durbin.
Vera Mae Cousins was born on a reservation in West Texas on February 27th 1935. A child of foster care her friend Bernice asked her to live with her family, the McNeelys, when she was 15. She jumped at the chance, and rarely talked about her past afterward.
She graduated from San Diego High School in 1953 and met Bud Durbin, a school boy from Hackett, Arkansas. on a chance meeting on a dock. They married in Pascagoula, Mississippi and eventually settled in Fort Smith, Arkansas. Bud shipped out to the Antarctic via the US navy, and Vera had Diana Durbin in 1955 at Fort Chaffee. Bud came home, bought a house, and added Roy Durbin in 1964. They remained married for sixty-two years.
It is difficult to extricate their lives because of the tremendous collective impact they had on everyone. Blood was not a requirement for Vera to feed, clothe, house, and love any wayward children her offspring brought home. Bud became Pop to everyone in the motorcycle racing community and anyone fortunate enough to grow up under his wing. Vera Durbin loved all of these people unequivocally. Devoid of a solid childhood, she created her own idea of what a family should, and we all grew up in it. Deservingly, Vera became known as Mom to everyone, even Pop.
Vera worked at Kennedy Tile and Marble for three decades, making long term family friends of the owner. Among her many hobbies, Vera enjoyed painting, macrame, knitting, and she was a talented seamstress. She loved cooking. From shirred eggs to fried okra to homemade ice cream, food was an event. Thanksgiving was a feast that concluded with her unparalleled chocolate pie. Christmas was a consecrated event replete with family, laughter, and an immoral amount of food. Above all, Mom’s family was what was most important to her. Whatever she was deprived of as a child, she made real for all of us.
And I keep telling myself this is not sad, and we were all lucky to have such a matriarchal figurehead in our lives. She was a church we all worshipped at, even Pop..
Goodbye, Mom, Granny, Aunt Vera. You were all of these things to everyone. We will always love you.
Preceded in death by her husband Bud Durbin. She is survived by her children, Diana Lee and Roy Durbin; grandchildren, Dusty Lee , Travis Lee, Katlyn Best, Lilly Durbin and Ruby Durbin.